To get married or not to get married…in 2020?

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Were you supposed to get married later this year but don’t know what to do? Do you cancel, postpone or go ahead without all your loved ones. Firstly, I am so sorry that 2020 has been an absolutely devastating year for many but hopefully we can find some silver linings amongst the darkness.

I know it’s been a while since my last post but after speaking to a few of my clients who planned their wedding for late 2020 I have found that some are confused, unsure and undecided as to what they can and can’t do so I want to offer some ideas. I want to let you know that you have so many options! Yes, it’s lots to think about but the best thing about this is situation is that you have the opportunity to be really creative, break some traditional moulds and potentially have two dreams weddings!

Here are some options to consider:

Elope and Small Weddings

Unfortunately, this will have to be within your residential state due most of to the borders being closed (depending where you live). But if getting married is the most important part for you then this is a great option. There are some amazing elopement packages in each state. A lot of these packages will include the celebrant, the hair and makeup, photographer, flowers, accommodation for the married couple and usually a dinner package. Alternatively, get in touch with me and I can reach out to my favourite suppliers to collaborate with in order to get you married in style!

Divide up the ceremony and reception

Despite the pandemic, splitting the event up is actually quite a popular option. I’ve been apart of two weddings, which have been split due to a variety of reasons – families being in other countries, medical, etc. So Leah, what exactly do you mean?

Glad you asked. What I mean by splitting is keep the date you have booked for this year but postpone the wedding at the venue and instead just do the ceremony elsewhere. Then once this pandemic has lifted have the reception (party) on your postponed date next year.

Two weddings!

This one is my favourite option because hey I am a chick who loves to get dressed up and this could be an opportunity to get two wedding dresses!

Does that appeal to you? What do I mean?

So like the above option, keep your date this year for just the legal ceremony but postpone the reception for next year and have another (non-legal) ceremony (plus reception) next year. Surely two weddings are better than one right?

We’re still getting married but…

This one might be a tough one for many couples. For many couples getting married is more important than having a party so reducing your guest numbers may be the option for you. If you are struggling for the right words to inform your guests, there are some excellent templates being produced to help. Take a look at some ideas from WedShed.

We’re not reducing numbers but we will be reducing the dancing…to zero.

Eekkk. This would be a tough one for me. Given that my inner spirit dances her way through life I can definitely resonate with couples that would absolutely veto this option. However, for some couples, dancing is not a priority and would rather a chilled out wedding. Check with your vendor as many venues are still able to host receptions in accordance to the NSW Government which allows up to 150 guests subject to the 4 square metre rule. Most importantly if this is the option you choose, you will have to ensure that you record the names and contact details (including contact telephone numbers) of all people attending and conducting the service. These records must be kept for at least 4 weeks, and provided to the Chief Health Officer, if requested. The government has also provided a Covid-19 Safety Plan which you can download here.

So there you have it, a few structures to think about. But I am sure you have more questions. Please if at any point through this blog you have questions and you want immediate answers – send me an email.

Anyway, I also want to provide some information regarding a legal ceremony. If you opt for a legal wedding you have two options:

You can go to the registry. Both of you will need to attend a marriage interview and the marriage officer will assist you with the paperwork and plan your ceremony.

Your second option is to book a celebrant (like me!) I can conduct the legal wedding at or in a place that is special to the two of you. I complete all the paperwork for you and create a ceremony that is tailored to the two of you.

For both options you do need to give the celebrant your Notice of Intended Marriage document no later than 31 days you plan to be married.

For a legal wedding there are three things that must either be said or present:

  1. The couple must have two witnesses over the age of 18 to be present.
  2. The celebrant must say the Monitum: I am duly authorised by law to solemnise this marriage according to law. Before you are joined in marriage in my presence and in the presence of these witnesses, I am to remind you of the solemn and binding nature of the relationship into which you are now about to enter. Marriage, according to law in Australia, is union of two people to the exclusion of all others, voluntarily entered into for life.
  3. The marrying couple must each say the Legal Vows: I call upon the persons here present to witness that I, AB/CD, take you, CD/AB, to be my lawful wedded wife/husband/partner in marriage.

Remember, if you do decide to get married this year and have a bigger one next year, the ceremony doesn’t have to include your personal vows, readings, stories, or rituals. You can keep all of those special and personal inclusions to be said in front of your loved ones for a later ceremony and just do the legal ceremony and paperwork to be officially married this year.

If you opt to do a legal ceremony this year and party later, think about a place that is meaning for to the two of you or somewhere that you always go. In Sydney, this could be a beach, a reserve, a park or by a lake. I want you to know that you can also think outside the box. Perhaps you have a favourite restaurant, café, or hotel that you think will be a nice place to get married. Also remember, you don’t have to be standing. You can get married while seated as well.

One thing I will add however, if you do go for a public space and have a few more than 10 people to witness the marriage, you may need to get a permit from the local council so please keep that in mind and do your due diligence to avoid anything spoiling your moment.

I have one last point and it is a question I have for YOU. Depending on when you decide to get married, there will most probably be a few guests that won’t make it due to the pandemic or maybe there are other reasons. Would you want your ceremony to be live streamed for them to watch through a platform like Zoom or Vimeo? If this were a yes from you, I would love for you to send me a YES here! I am currently developing this as part of my service so if you would like to be part of my trial period, I will be offering this for free for a limited time only!

Finally, thank you for taking the time to read the above information. I know it’s a lot to take in. Let it sink in. Take a deep breath and get in touch if you want anything from me.


2 responses to “To get married or not to get married…in 2020?”

  1. Faiza Hadi Avatar
    Faiza Hadi

    What a great post! So much detail and makes me feel so much better about everything. Thanks Leah 🙂

    1. married_by_leah Avatar

      So glad it helpful Faiza! xx

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